Joe's Heart

Any Patient, Any Time

    I'm known on my unit for being the guy that will take any patient, any time.  It is amazing to me how frequently we get patients that will drive a non-christian nurse nuts!!  I swear some people think their nurse is some sort of hand maiden that is there to serve their every beck and call.  "I ordered  a  sprite and chips 5 minutes ago and its not here yet!  What kind of place are you running here!"  Other people are just downright mean.  We had a patient recently who seemed to delight in the fact that she could say whatever she wanted to the nurse and they simply had to take it.  "Your the worst nurse I've ever seen!  Did you shower this morning, you smell like old cabbage!  Can't you do anything right you idiot!"  There are as many tough patients as there are different personalities out there.
    I used to have a difficult time caring for these people until a couple of years ago when we did a bible study call the 40 days of purpose based on the Purpose Driven Life book.  It helped me change my reasoning for helping people.  I no longer work with these people to help them, I am there to please God and God alone.  Because of this it doesn't matter if they appreciate what I do or for that matter what horrible things they say to me.  I know in my heart that I am pleasing God and that is all that matters.  If you keep your servants heart and your true purpose for doing things in mind, it is truly amazing what you do you can put up with an unbelievable amount of abuse you can take and still keep a smile and positive attitude.

Pray without ceasing

    I'm always looking for new ways to "pray without ceasing".  I've started getting on my knees and praying every time I'm alone on an elevator.  We have a large hospital and I work nights so it is fairly frequent that this happens.  Now I just need to learn to pray faster.  People look at you funny when the elevator doors open suddenly and there you are in the middle of the floor on you knees.  I just look up and say "just praying" and keep on moving.

GOOD GRIEF

    A patient (who's family were very devout Christians) died last night.  One of my enlightened coworkers (who always looks for something negative to say about Christians) made a comment to the effect of "if they really believe what they say, why are they so sad".  We've recently had a loss in our family.  My Nephew died about 6 months ago.  He was more a brother to me than a nephew.  His death pulled me apart at the seams.  It was a life shattering loss and it got me thinking.  If I am the Christian I say I am, why am I so distraught?
    When I came home from work this morning I didn't go to bed.  I went searching for answers to the pain in my heart.  I kept thinking that if I was truly the Christian I say I am then I wouldn't be having such a tough time with this, hence, I must be a hypocrite. 
    Thankfully I have found solace in the bible.  Paul discussed in Philippians the difference between a Christian and a Pagan when it comes to grief.  Non-Christians grieve at the sadness and remorse of loosing a person forever.  It is a hopeless despair that I hope I never feel. 
    Christian grief is attached to the nature of the loss.  Knowing our loved ones are with the lord lightens the burden but does not remove the experience of loss and loneliness.  Nor does it remove the knowledge of the great joys we shared on this earth with the departed one and that those times are now irretrievably gone.  Paul himself discusses in Philippians 2:25 how God had mercy on Paul by healing a friend from certain death ans saving Paul from the life shattering grief which I have felt.  Jesus himself wept at the death of Lazarus (John 11:35).  It is very comforting to me to know that Christ so identified with our humanities that he felt grief and sorrow the same as you or I would.   
    I now know that even though I look forward to that day when every knee will bow and every tongue shall confess I will hold still hold this pain in my heart.  It makes me no less a Christian.   

Long Nights

Last night was my first night at work since my unit manager switched me to nights (much to my chagrin).  The hospital at night is an entirely different place than it is during the day.  One positive thing I found is that it can be a very spiritual place.  I work in a Catholic hospital and I can look out the window of the empty rooms and see the cross lit up in our central courtyard.  It is a very intimate place to worship, both beautiful and sobering.  I kneel there and can feel the pain, sorrow and joy that surrounds me (yes the hospital can be a very joyous place -"its a boy!"  "its benign"  "you're life was saved by our quick action").  I pray more at work than any other time.  I think it is one of the main reasons God led me to be a nurse.   Now, if I can just learn to stay awake:-)

Gene died today

     Gene died today.  Came in for routine surgery.  Just having his knee replaced.  He threw a clot and that was that.  Gene lived for three days after the stroke.  Must have lived a rough life.  The only visitor who stayed for any amount of time was his ex-wife.  She stayed throughout it all.  Never really shed any tears that we saw.  Sad. 
     I spoke with Gene when I was alone in the room repositioning him.  Told him he was dying.  I think people deserve to know that.  I said a little prayer and asked him to join me.  No response.  Don't know how much of him was in there at the time but I always try to give them one last chance. 
     We always think we have plenty of time.  Ask Gene how much time he was given.